Monday 6 June 2011

what is friendship?

As the years pass and i get older, finding friends seems to be such a ambiguous concept. When i was younger, my parents help me out, to introduce me to other, and made play dates. Throughout our academic career we meet new people go to clubs and  abundance of friends seem endless. Then some of us, well me basically, started working at a very young age. I rarely went to school. I worked  odd shift, life began to taking place. Money became tight, and i knew i had to keep working. Now i am in that cycle where, i just work everyday. Once upon a time, i had a few friends. I would go to 5 a 7, which basically is a designated drinking time.Have Dinners with friends and  girls night out. But slowly, as i got older, my friends disappeared. Most got married or had long term relationship. We all know what happens when a women is head over heels over a man- she deserts all her friends! my circle of friends got smaller. I got into fight with some and  basically cut them out of my life. Then i moved away- and just kept working. I just realized how my once hand full of friends has dwindled down to just a little less than a  few. Those  i actually care about are at work- and we all have different shift and only see each other once in awhile. What i'm getting at is- today i had the weirdest conversation with, what i think is sorta of my friend- but i'm questioning it. I called to say hi.Well i was lonely here- and she started calling me" her lover"- ? now- i'm confused- cause no  way in hell she would know-  nor would i want her to know- as our conversation progressed - i just was appalled at her comments- saying that i should take care of her?? i cannot understand where any of this is coming from? i am not close to this person nor it is someone i wanna close to-  I just call her once in awhile to shoot the breeze. What ever bridge of friendship i had with this person - is quickly disappearing in a fog.  I believe in independence, i work hard for all i have acquired- i will only share it with the person i share my life with and parents. i still cannot understand how she had the audacity to even say such a thing.  I will not give her any thing i invested nor can i still comprehend these statement made. I've deleted her number and i will not be calling her, i don't care how alone i feel some times. Maybe cause this person was high, but even at that, its no excuses-  again this circle of fews is turning out very small- anyone out there in need of a friend?