Thursday, 26 January 2012

The Unwanted 

Ok, so nothing in life really works.But we all have to take chances- I always have the hardest time making friends- but i took a chance, and i made a friend-but its gone all a rye. i'm not sure if my emotions are making this worst or this is reality-- but i'm standing at the edge of oblivion.
I take a million decision which lead to a sharp turn that lead to another unmapped situation or purely different conclusion. My mild manner
 side is always titeringly making the lightest of each outcome- but my insane side always makes life events into a scenario of war- its like every trivial event turns to a sweeping wave- as a solider entering 
a barrack jumping across the traps manoeuvring over grenades and sharp shooter-What my mind thinks and what actually comes out of my mouth are 2 completely different thing- maybe i am the living breathing girl version of Jackcal and Hide- My latest detrimental escapade has landed me in some interesting hurricane weather- where i'm standing outside watching the volatile wind hitting every abstract object- as it grow increasingly closer to me- So i just found out, my closest friend, no longer wants me in her life-  KABAM- the bomb's goes off- its just like being knocked off the gold medal podium pole. She no longer wants to have any communication with me ,what so ever- imagine a media black out. Because this is exactly how i feel. Looking to watch t.v but no sounds or the pivotal HD channels to speak of-- its eerie-. She decide to freeze me out- over two months ago-. With no concrete  explanation- i tried communicating with her, last month- no answer till today She decided to send a text message 2 months later- just telling to be cordiale and professional. How is this even possible- when has she come into some neurotic conclusion to something that as happened that i have no knowledge of- i feel like the mayan civilization who evaporated in thin air- Some event has taken place- she has drawn her own postulation, and decided to throw me out like a outdated  pair of nine west pumps-how can a individual who's so dear to me one moment, decide's that you are no longer worth their time-.A diamond takes millions  of year to develop- that what friendship is- they metamorphose to rubies, emeralds and sapphires-  but in mid transformation she no longer has the interest to indulged in the after glow- my hyde personality is madding with fire and erupting lava- i feel  like yelling at the slightest sight of her- but then i will look like the madding women i am- and i'd rather be Hyde- i just want to know what was it that she thinks i've done- but as elusive as quantum energy- i don't think, i'll ever know. I've become discarded.Welcome to the world of the unwanted.