Saturday 25 February 2012

Uncharted Trail


So this is the situation- i got injured at work and have just been re-discovering- what it is to actually have a life outside of work- It's the strangest feeling- to be sleeping in you own bed every night- no hotel rooms, no 4 hrs sleep to run off to next shift to another city- no bruised, from being tossed around- no quick hello to fellow colleagues you see only in passing- 
It sure is a strange- 
i've never seen how quickly life just passed me by- just because i was busy with work- literally- i'd run home, sleep 8hrs if i was lucky- do my chores try and see my few friends, and get ready for work- disappear for a few night and be back here in toronto- and the whole cycle would start all over again- i've come to see what the other half lives like. Its such a novel idea to me- waking up and actually enjoying a really hot tempered coffee, gulping each sip and actually tasting it-unusual to have so much time, and allocating it, in any way i please-of course i alway include my physio - thought out my day- But walking the toronto streets, shopping at normal hours and not minding, the wait in line- not rushing like a manic on the highways- its just a stress free way, of enjoying life-
needless to say- i've come to enjoy my 3 months off work- only to be caged, in to doing light duties- this is where the dungeon like atmosphere- who knew- office workers made snide comments each time a crew member came to sign in- who knew, the needless decapitation of gossip that surrounded each co worker- seems like everyone is viewed with a different colour- i am sure, these comments are extended to me- my naivety bubble was busted- i happily love strolling into the office with my fellow crew members were we laugh and sign in to start our shifts, but today- i've learned the moment i or any of my colleagues walk away- damaging comments are said to whom ever is present- its sad to see that this what it comes down to- you see my whole work life has to do with this wonderful company that i came to love.My co-workers are my support, and the laughter i depend on everyday- we all become very depended on each other- because of our long hours and little outside life- when you sleep in hotels partially ever night, and hardly ever see your friends or family, work is all you have left.
So during my so called sabbatical from work- i've tried to re connect with those lost friendship or  family time- its al little difficult- so i've decided to re kindled new friendship- what a faux pas- that another treacherous trail- but i can't give up- i've decided to start really small- it hasn't lead to anyone asking me to go for coffee or  even a inviting me  to anything- but i have no where else to turn- so i am attacking this game plan head on- eventually i can accumulate a few new friends. Its just a matter of time, and a lot of luck-

2 comments:

  1. I hope you are feeling better. I had about 6 months off work in 2010 and it was the best decision I made. I realized what life was like outside of work relationships. The type of relationships that didn't require having to be civil because they are a coworker or worrying too much about manners.

    I looked for things and people I could really connect with. Not trying to learn something new about someone else. But look for things inside me and find others and activities that matched my inner landscape. This led to learning new things about me, who I am, why am I here, what I want.

    I am currently dealing with an injury as well. I don't mind the rehab though, injuries are an excuse to get stronger.

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  2. your absolutely right, i've learned a whole lot - and i am astounded everything i forgot about myself. Being completely self involved in work, made me lose myself and what i was actually like. I found that all i had become is this yes person- no time for friends( the little i have, or family) today i am a bit mad at myself for not realizing it sooner, but i guess all of this was a blessing in disguise- i finally committed myself to taking time for just me and reconnecting to everything and everyone i want in my short life here- it didn't take much, just a kind word here and there, really allowed other people to gravity towards me, and start conversations-

    Thank you Karim, for always reading my silly blog and responding lol

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