Thursday, 3 March 2011

what happened?.

So this is my first blog- and I'm unsure about everything that has happened in life.
i look younger than i look, and hence get judged or overlooked,be it for a potential date  to a better job.
lets start with that, i work in a position that i never thought i would do- its basically the same thing i did when i first began working at fifteen - drum role please- its customer service-
this from a feminist and loud mouth that aways dreamed of being a marine biologist. Today i am looking for a way out of this endless circle- of being pushed and basically unsatisfied in my position. My job allows me to travel- from one end of province to the next.The down fall is the long hours, the short hours of sleep , if that, decent sleep, is rare, and i work everyday-having a real life and friends is ambiguous concept. The endless ruddiness, of everyday people, is taking its toll. However there are days where everything goes the way it should, in a  amicable atmosphere. Lately i feel its more negative. My job is my only source of income. I no longer have a formal education- i think i am considered a dinosaur. I cannot understand how i let this life escape and slip throughout my fingers.I still don't have enough money to go back to school. Barely enough to live, on what i make. The last 3 years have been a blur, and i just wish i had a confidence in myself.When did i fall apart? i watch young students going to university class,  and wonder how many of them will actually make it. So what happens next ??

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